Drinking and the Mourning After
by Fischadler
Summary: When Inui juice goes unflavourably, Fuji and Eiji find themselves 'killing' time in a zombie apocalypse.


Title: Drinking and the Mourning After  
Date: June 30, 2012  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Prince of Tennis characters.  
When Inui juice goes unflavourably, Fuji and Eiji find themselves 'killing' time in a zombie apocalypse.

**Drinking and the Mourning After  
**

**Chapter 1**

Today started off like any other day: waking up at the latest possible time, fighting his siblings for the bathroom, fighting his siblings once more but for access to the fridge and then running as fast as he could to school. Remember, he woke up at the latest possible second and it didn't help that he ended up pressing the snooze button a little over five times. And there was nothing out of the ordinary, when Kikumaru Eiji came stumbling into the classroom, gasping and out of breath, at least fifteen minutes late. He earned the usual disapproving frown from Saito-sensei and a few chuckles from his classmates.

And it wasn't unusual that a few seconds after taking his seat, he had to stand up once more in order to more easily join his desk to (super awesome best friends forever) Fuji Shusuke's desk because as usual, he forgot his textbook. And it wasn't unusual when Saito-sensei slammed his hands onto their conjoined desks and begged them to stop talking. The greatest feeling of opening a fresh tube of cotton candy toothpaste or that time when Yuuta (poor kid) accidentally rode his bicycle into a tree were just not math related and should be discussed at a later time...

... which eventually ended up being during tennis practice.

"And for some reason Rudolph has a week off, so Yuuta's at home." Fuji explained.

"Fuji. Kikumaru. Ten laps for talking." Tezuka's distant voice interrupted their conversation.

"Unya! Come on buchou! Like you never talk..." Eiji frowned, "... wait... Whatever. You're a meanie!"

"You should come over after school." Fuji suggested as they started running around the courts, "Yuuta asked me to buy some snacks. And because he's staying the week, he finally brought home the playstation kaasan bought me."

"Can we get some ice cream?" Eiji's face lit up, "I heard they've introduced five new flavours."

"Nothing beats the wasabi berry mix." Fuji's lips curved playfully, "... Oh... Tezuka's glaring."

"He needs to loosen up."

"We should get him drunk again..."

"That was NOT a good memory."

"How many more laps? I really have to pee." Fuji sighed.

"I think this is our last one." Eiji replied slowly... they ran around that first time, then... they passed that already and... "Yes. We're almost done!"

"Be right back." Fuji took off.

"Everyone gather!" Ryuzaki-sensei called out.

Seeing her standing there with that creepy smile she does when something bad (scary tennis torture bad, not someone's dead funeral bad) is about to happen was never a good sign. And seeing her stand next to Tezuka and... oh no... Inui... life is perhaps doomed as we know it. Regardless, he reluctantly joined the rest of the regulars, noting how rigid Momo-kun was standing.

"This is Inui Omega juice." Inui Sadaharu (resident mad man) opened a large cooler revealing an ominously dark liquid, "It is the ultimate health boost drink. Ryuzaki-sensei, shall I explain?"

The aging lady shrugged.

Inui's grin widened, "This singular drink contains so much natural nutrients, that if you drink this today there is a 98 percent chance you may be able to eat a junk food diet for a month without any repercussions to your health. However, imagine the possibilities... Imagine the statistics if we were to solely consume Inui Omega every day while on a healthy diet regimen."

"Nya! Wait... Every day?" Eiji shrieked.

Tezuka sighed.

"Yes." Inui's glasses flashed, "This contains Avocados, rich in carotenoid antioxidants and particularly good for those suffering from arthritis as it keeps inflammation under control. Something to consider Ryuzaki-sensei."

"... Ah! I left my whistle in my office." Ryuzaki-sensei exclaimed before practically vanishing.

"On top of collard greens, mustard greens, olives and kale, Inui Omega juice contains garlic. Garlic is very good for iron metabolism, the production of hydrogen sulphide gas. This helps our blood vessels expand and keep our blood pressure in check. This also contains asparagus, like garlic that it helps improve blood pressure, but also good for blood sugar regulation and regulates fat levels. Bananas, a good source of potassium. Blueberries, for smooth radiantly glowing skin. And sardines, a great source of omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA, as well as calcium." Inui continued to list.

"Huh? There's some kind of fish in there?" Kaidoh-chan, always the animal lover, started to turn green.

"Did I mention the Brussels sprouts yet? Ah yes... It helps lower cholesterol. Also, the glucoraphanin, glucobrassicin, sinigrin and gluconastutilan are even present and these sprouts help your body excrete bile acids."

"Bile?" Momoshiro blinked.

"Kelp." Inui replied, "A good source of mineral iodine, vanadium, antioxidant alkaloids, sulphated polysaccharides, anticoagulants, all very, very good. Cranberries. Even though they're so small, they have a high acidity content which is renowned for preventing UTI."

"UTI?" Momoshiro blinked once more.

"Shut up Momo-senpai. I don't want to know." Echizen mumbled and lowered his cap.

"Yogurt," Inui continued, "a source of vitamin B12, B5 pantothenic acid, zinc, potassium and protein. Lima beans, which is a fat free high quality protein. Navy beans, a cholesterol lowering fibre, a great source of folate, protein, vitamin B1, phosphorus, copper, magnesium and iron. Almonds, reduces heart disease risk by 30 percent and contains vitamin E. Flaxseeds, sesame seeds, walnuts. Quinoa, an antioxidant phytonutrient containing flavonoids quercetin and kaempferol, omega-3 fatty acids and alpha-linolenic acid. Ah yes, can you imagine the possibilities?"

The regulars remained dead silent.

"And to think, I'm not done explaining the brilliance that is Inui Omega juice." Inui seemed ecstatic, "Cinnamon: anti-clotting and a source of cinnamaldehyde, known for its effects on blood platelets, anti-microbial activity, blood sugar control, and a booster of brain function. Then there's broccoli, which detoxifies the body and contains vitamin D, K and A. And ginger, which is a source of carminative, which promotes the elimination of intestinal gas..."

"Does he mean...?"

"Shut up Momo-senpai!"

"...And intestinal spasmolytic, which relaxes and soothes the intestinal tract..."

"Does that mean...?"

"SHUT UP Momo-senpai!"

"It also helps to build the immune system and is very good to take during pregnancy."

There was an awkward silence.

Tezuka coughed, "Suffice to say-"

"And summer squash." Inui concluded.

Another awkward silence.

"... What does that contain?" Oishi cautiously wondered.

"It's in season." Inui shrugged, as he passed around a cup to each other regulars.

"It smells like roadkill that crawled into a port-a-potty." Momoshiro gagged.

"Just get it over with." Echizen plugged his nose and quickly swallowed the bubbling contents.

"Disgusting!" Momoshiro stuck his tongue out, "Eiji-senpai, it's your turn."

Strangely enough, the Inui juice came as no surprise. But still... But still... It was just... Juice should in no way ever be that colour... or bubbling for that matter.

Holding the small cup firmly in his hand, he looked towards the other regulars. At least they were all conscious this time... Oh no... He really didn't want to do this. They were all looking at him now... He really, really didn't want to do this.

He took a long sip and swished it around in his mouth... what was this texture? Why did it feel like something was crawling around in his mouth? What that the broccoli or... oh kami-sama no... not insects again...

"Disgusting right?" Momoshiro shuddered.

He shakily nodded his head, took a step back, and another, and another before slowly creeping into the clubroom and dashing towards the bathroom sinks.

"BLEHG!" He gasped, as the spat out all the dark oozing contents into the sink.

"What's going on?" Fuji (washing his hands at the sink next to him) frowned, watching as the redhead continually rinsed his mouth out with water.

"Inui Omega juice." Eiji managed to reply through mouthfuls of water.

"Hm... Sounds delicious." Fuji smiled.

"No. Just no Fujiko." Eiji gagged.

"Come on, let's go back to practice. I can't wait to try it." Fuji actually seemed excited... Well, he shouldn't be that surprised by his friend's reaction. Fuji usually likes Inui juice, especially the vegetable series... but, it still amazed him every time.

"Trust me Fujiko-chan, it was like something was crawling in my mouth. By the way, don't tell anyone I didn't actually drink it." Eiji replied, as he opened the door to the clubroom.

"... What's with everyone?" Fuji frowned.

"What do you mean?" Eiji blinked.

"Well, Tezuka looks fine... But why is Momo walking into the fence?" Fuji pointed out.

"That's not a first." Eiji shrugged.

"Yea, but... continually?" Fuji arched a brow.

"Now that you mention it... isn't Ochibi acting weird?" Eiji tilted his head as he observed their junior.

"Slouchier." Fuji nodded, as they watched the young black haired teen limp over to his rather loud unibrowed friend.

"Help me! HEEELP!" Horio (?) shrieked.

Eiji quickly closed the clubroom door.

"Did you also see Ochibi biting... I want to say Oreo-kun?" Eiji blinked.

"... But you know, I don't blame Ryoma. Oreo can get annoying with his 2 year experience or what have you." Fuji commented.

"But biting? Ochibi usually fights people through tennis matches." Eiji shrugged.

"It's fine." Fuji replied, as he took a hold of the handle and opened the door once more.

"Uurg."

"See, annoying." Fuji pointed out, shoving a dazed Oreo (Not the cookie) out of the way.

"I guess..." Eiji was now frowning.

"Inui." Fuji called out, "I heard you created a new masterpiece. Can I try some?"

"Uuhg..."

"Inui." Fuji repeated.

"Uurg."

"As usual, you're never any help and only good at standing by the sidelines with your notebook." Fuji crossed his arms.

"Looks like it's all gone." Eiji opened the cooler.

"Shame." Fuji sighed turning his attention to their captain, "Tezuka, what are we doing now?"

"Hn."

"Laps? Drills? From the look of things, are we on break?" Fuji tilted his head.

"Hn."

"Great! Thank you Kuni-chan!" Fuji was smiling once more, "So Eiji, Yuuta did the most adorable thing this morning."

"Unya? And what was that?"

"I guess he was up all night playing video games that this morning he almost fell down the stairs after missing a step. He was so exhausted! It was so adorable! You should have seen his face! He was absolutely mortified."

"Speaking of which, what's Kawa-kun doing on the floor?" Eiji just had to point out the rather large body that fell in front of them.

"Taka-san?" Fuji prodded the larger boy.

"ARG!"

Both Fuji and Eiji jumped back.

"He's not even holding a tennis racquet." Fuji pointed out.

"Do you think Tezuka would mind if we disappeared? Ever since we were talking about snacks and ice cream, that's the only thing I've been thinking of."

"Where's your bag?" Fuji wondered.

"It's by the courts." Eiji replied.

Fuji picked up his own bag off the bench, "We'll sneak out by the back. What Tezuka doesn't know can't hurt him."

"You're the best Fufu-chan." Eiji grinned, "Unya... Oreo-kun, some personal space please."

"Uurg."

"See. Annoying." Fuji shook his head.

"I get it." Eiji nodded, "Hey... Does Yuuta have Left 4 Dead?"

That was right... Today was like any other. Running a few laps, some new disgusting Inui juice, sneaking out of practice and going to buy some ice cream.

... How nice.

**To be continue.**

_Lemme know. Did I hit or miss with this? Is the whole zombie thing overdone? Aah... Working on chapter 2._


End file.
